The Rabbit Hole of Futility
Why leaving social media was the best thing I did in 2025
It’s likely a coincidence that the best quarter in my business was also the quarter where I left nearly all social media behind. The truth is that it’s been a gradual process that started when I left Twitter in December 2024.
I was tired of reading garbage, and engaging in garbage, and the benefit I was getting from being on the platform was basically non-existent.
Since then, I realized most social media apps are like that. I got rid of Threads (apparently right before they changed it to be less like garbage), then TikTok. Those were easy because I barely used them anyway.
Leaving Meta Wasn’t That Hard
After leaving Twitter, Threads, and TikTok, I found myself increasingly checking Instagram, even though I didn’t have the app on my phone. I’d painfully go to the website, or download the app just to delete it a few minutes later.
Facebook wasn’t as bad — I never downloaded the app. Though I’d check it regularly, and would occasionally download Facebook Messenger, as that was the primary communication channel for one of my mastermind groups.
I told myself that I needed Facebook for my kids’ school, and work, and that Instagram, “wasn’t that bad.” That at least the stuff I saw on Instagram was entertaining.
I actually forget the exact reason I decided to leave Instagram, which came before Facebook. The most likely explanation is one of two things:
I realized that my wife and I were barely talking at night, just scrolling Instagram and sometimes showing each other funny reels.
I saw something (or someone sent something to me) that I found deeply annoying.
I decided to deactivate it to “test” it out, and never went back.
The reason Facebook stuck around a little longer was a conference I went to. They used a Facebook Group as their primary communication channel. Once that was done, it was time.
I deactivated my Facebook account 2 weeks before my birthday, knowing that the deluge of nice birthday messages probably would have been enough for me to stay.
Both accounts are now officially scheduled for deletion.
The Process of Leaving
I wish I could tell you I have some process — some SOP — in place for leaving social media. I documented one for Twitter (linked above), but that was only because I was keen on keeping my username.
For Threads and TikTok, it was pretty easy. I just deleted the accounts. I hadn’t built a big network or following, so I just ghosted.
When I left Instagram I didn’t make some big post (IIRC). I just left that one too.
The only difference is Facebook, and for good reason: it’s my longest-standing social network where I had the most personal connections. There were some people with whom I communicated only on Facebook.
I made a post saying I was leaving, and included a link with how to get in touch with me. I also made a banner with the waving emoji and that same link with the caption, “find me here”.
About a week later, my account was gone. The main drawback is that because I didn’t make some grand announcement, I know there are some people who think I blocked them. There are likely some who will have no idea how to get a hold of me if they want.
But, I’m highly Google-able, so there’s that.
Positive Effects
I mentioned at the beginning of this article that it’s probably a coincidence that my best quarter aligns with the first quarter in 20 years where I’m not on multiple social networks.
But what isn’t a coincidence is that I’m spending my time more wisely. I’m not doom scrolling or shit-posting or getting mad at every dumb thing I see on social media.
There were some instances where I’d go down a rabbit hole of futility™and lose an hour.
I’m much more focused now. I can’t physically check those social networks anymore…at least not for any appreciable amount of time. Spend more than 5 seconds there and you get hit with a prompt to log in.
Instead, I’m reading more, or playing engaging games. I mean…I read seven books from January to October and then six (seven1 by the time this comes out) books from November through December.
I also find that I’m thinking much more about my own ideas instead of being consumed with other people’s ideas. In my interview with Amanda Goetz, she mentions that she doesn’t check social media before she does her own writing, because once she checks she no longer has original thoughts.
I’ve found this to be true; humans are a highly influential bunch. Whatever I was thinking about before I got on social media was gone, replaced with whatever the network decided to show me.
Perhaps the most important positive is that I’m much, much less distracted while with my kids. I’m not checking apps or reading something and getting annoyed in a way that affects my mood and my time with them.
That more than anything else makes this whole experiment worth it. It also makes my 2025 Yearly Theme a success.
Do I Miss Anything?
I’ll sometimes get the question, “do you miss it?” The honest answer is no 99% of the time.
I most often miss social media for nearly the same reason I truly, deeply hate social media: hot takes.
While I don’t need Johnny’s take on tariffs or Carol’s take on immigration, I do like to get real time updates and takes on baseball news. I miss that the most, though Bluesky is getting better (more on that in a minute).
I will also sometimes take photos of things and briefly wonder where, or if, I should share them (there is a category on my blog specifically for photos). But without some ingrained desire to immediately share on social media, I’m much more present, actually enjoying the thing I’m doing…not just showing people I’m “enjoying” it.
The other time I miss social media happens less frequently, but the feeling is stronger.
Back in March I was at my friend Justin’s conference, Sponsor Games, and people were struck by the fact that I didn’t have any social apps on my phone.
It’s also an influencer/creator conference, so it felt a bit like being at culinary school and saying, “I don’t have my own pots and pans.”
I say this because it’s at events like that where I tend to miss social media the most. It is a way to connect with people after the conference, see what’s happening during the conference, and yes, share the cool things you’re doing.
But, as I’ve alluded to several times, I’m not completely off social media.
The Social Networks I’m Still On
There are three (two and a half?) social networks I’m still on:
Mastodon is basically an automated account. I log in maybe once a month and do not interact with anyone unless someone has asked me a fairly specific question.
Bluesky is where I’ve attempted to recreate the early days of Twitter. I’m not using it for anything professional except sharing links to my writing, videos, and podcast episodes. I mostly follow and interact with baseball and pop culture content.
I like it because unlike nearly every other social network, there is no “timeline” or algorithm. You see only who you follow, their posts in reverse chronological order. You also don’t get dinged for links, because there’s no algorithm.
Sadly, I fear this will change so Bluesky can make money, or it will die off. I’m very happy to be proved wrong though.
LinkedIn is where I’m most active, posting regularly, commenting, and connecting with folks. I even did a 40-day challenge back in September, which was moderately successful in growing my audience (though less my newsletter, which was the real goal).
As you can imagine, that’s the website that sucks up most of my time now. It’s the place where I see objectionable things, and I’ve even gotten consumed with it in the same way I did with Twitter.
I’ll admit that’s mostly on me. We have the relationship we want to have with things like this, and my assumption of negativity on social platforms, however justified it may be, affects that.
Still, LinkedIn is increasingly becoming less a place to connect with professionals and more the latest place for marketing and tech bros to hawk their platitudes and oversimplifications for making money.
It’s clear that LinkedIn doesn’t know what it is anymore, because it doesn’t know what it wants to be.
IS LINKEDIN NEXT?
In reading my assessment of LinkedIn, you might be wondering if LinkedIn is next on the chopping block. While it would be next, I don’t see myself leaving it in the foreseeable future.
The main reason I left the others is because they were a net negative on my life. They were a drain on my time and my mental health, with very little in the way of benefits besides the occasional funny post or nice interaction.
LinkedIn, thus far, has proved to be a net positive. The toxicity on other social networks has not yet made its way to LinkedIn, and my interactions are a lot more positive. While there is annoying spam, that’s going to exist everywhere…including email, SMS, and phone calls.
I’m also an entrenched LinkedIn Learning instructor, and I enjoy having my courses on there. LinkedIn, way more than any other social network, has been an actual revenue generator for me.
WHAT I’M NOT COUNTING AS SOCIAL MEDIA
There are a few places I’m hanging out that I wouldn’t consider social media. The first is YouTube, where I’m making a concerted effort to grow my audience and influence.
While there are social features, as well as an algorithm, you’re judged more on the quality of your content than on your ability to create rage-bait.
I’m also using Substack for Paper and Smoke, and while that arguably is becoming more of a social network, I’m not quite ready to give it that moniker yet.
Finally, I’m part of a number of communities; I don’t think I need to make an argument that those are way more social than media.
Questions I Get About Not Being on Social Media
Aside from “do you miss it,” there are a few questions that I get semi-regularly. I’ll address them in order from easiest to hardest to answer.
WHERE AM I GETTING MY NEWS?
The first is where do I get my news, and the answer is simple: actual news outlets.
One of the most annoying things about social media is the notion that, “I have an opinion therefore it’s valid.”
It’s not. Unless you’re an expert on the topic, I don’t need to know what you think. I certainly don’t need to know your gut reaction based on the least amount of information possible.
I have the NYTimes and BBC apps on my phone, with notification summaries a couple of times per day to get the headlines. I’m also subscribed to several Substacks and podcasts of journalists and organizations I trust.
These help me stay up on the news with [largely] factual assessments of current events and articles clearly labeled as opinion from subject matter experts.
HOW AM I BUILDING MY NETWORK?
Building my network is a little more nuanced. Yes, I’m still on LinkedIn, and do tend to connect with people on there. But when I go to conferences, I encourage people to connect with me directly via email, my newsletter, or my phone number.
A few years ago I made a decision to put my actual cell phone number (not a sequestered Google Voice number) on my business card. There are a few reasons for it:
I got the number in 1999 so it’s not exactly a state secret.
WhatsApp frustratingly makes you use your actual number — the one associated with your primary device — to use it.
Since I’m using WhatsApp more, there’s no use in hiding my personal number from business contacts. I now use strict filters and focus modes to make sure I’m present with my family/not thinking about work.
I also strongly encourage email. I’m far more likely to respond to email in a business context than a text.
When I meet people at a conference, on top of giving them my business card, I’ve also printed out QR code stickers that take those who scan it to a custom page I made for the conference.
This will include LinkedIn, my newsletter, and other properties where I encourage people to follow me, like YouTube and my podcast.
How Am I Growing my Business?
This is both the hardest question to answer, and I think the silliest. I’ve never appreciably grown my business using social media. Excluding LinkedIn, the last time I made a direct sale from a social post was probably eight years ago. It was a tweet saying, “I have sponsorship openings for my podcast next month.”
My business simply isn’t one that benefits from maximum exposure. I offer a specific set of services and education/demonstrating my skill is a large part of how I win clients (I recognize I’m not unique here) .
My point is the ephemeral nature of most social media doesn’t suit my approach to client acquisition, so it never really served me well as a lever to grow my business.
Part of my strategy for 2026 is to create a better system inside my newsletter to generate revenue through smaller, helpful products. This is something I haven’t done very effectively in the past.
But the other part is through longer-term discovery methods like YouTube, search engines, and LLMs. I will create as useful content as possible to attract potential clients, and rank for keywords.
Google has been the number one driver of traffic to my coaching form, and I have about a 20% close rate on leads coming through there. I plan to optimize that page even more, and drive more traffic to pillar content on my websites.
Through the combination of YouTube and LLMs for discovery, I will be able to build trust through my helpful content and get people onto my mailing list.
This, to me, feels much more effective than playing the algorithm “hacking” games you need to play with social media.
Is Social Media Really a Net Negative?
You might be wondering if I really think social media is net negative.
I do.
I think for myself and for society, it’s more bad than good. It’s a time suck, it’s a vehicle for false information and polarization, and there’s a ton of proof that it’s devastating for the mental health of kids.
My yearly theme is all around Digital Detox. My desire to be off of social media is a massive driver of that. Instead, I want to prioritize community and real-life, real world interactions.
If the pandemic proved anything, it’s that no matter how advanced technology gets, we will always need those interaction.
And I think social media hinders them more than helps them.
I’m so sorry.